Fruit of the Spirit · Lesson 9
Fruit of the Spirit: Self-control
Nehemiah 5:1-19; Proverbs 25:28; Titus 2:11-12 Old Testament PrincipleSelf-control
While Jerusalem's walls were being rebuilt, Nehemiah heard that rich leaders were taking poor families' land and money. He was very angry, but he stopped to think before he spoke. Then he calmly told the leaders to make it right, and they did. Self-control is a fruit of the Spirit. A person without it is like a city with broken walls, but God's Spirit helps us say no to wrong things and stop and think.
Self-control is a fruit of the Spirit. God's grace teaches us to stop, think and say no to wrong things, so our hearts are like a city with strong walls.
- CreationGod made it
- FallWe broke it
- RedemptionJesus fixes it (this lesson)
- RestorationJesus makes it new
Memory verse
“Like a city whose walls are broken down is a man who lacks self-control.”
Proverbs 25:28 BSB
Christ Connection · Need
Nehemiah rebuilt Jerusalem's broken walls. On our own, our hearts are like cities with broken walls, and we can't fix them by trying harder. Jesus is the true Repairer of the Breach (Isaiah 58:12). He lived with perfect self-control, "tempted in every way… yet without sin" (Hebrews 4:15), and He died to redeem us. Now "the grace of God has appeared… It instructs us to renounce ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live sensible, upright, and godly lives" (Titus 2:11-12).
Titus 2:11-14; Galatians 5:22-25; 1 Peter 2:23; Hebrews 4:15
The Big Story · Redemption
God brought His people home and rebuilt Jerusalem's walls, and He was preparing for the King who would rebuild His people from the inside out.
Teacher Guide
This version includes:
- Background and context for the passage
- Hidden in Plain Sight: the detail most people miss
- The Christ Connection: how this story points to Jesus
- A 48-minute class plan and prep checklist
- Object lesson: The whole fruit
- Ellie’s Lab (science experiment): Pressure check
- A skit to act out the story
- Review game: Fruit of the Spirit freeze
- Pronunciation help, tips for every age, song ideas and a note for parents
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Preschool (ages 3–5)
God helps me stop and think.
This version includes:
- An opening hook and a 4-minute Bible story written for this age, with a Hidden in Plain Sight moment
- 3 discussion questions
- 2 activities: Stop, breathe, think, Color the strong wall
- 6 “Dasch Digs Up” facts
- Real-life connections: at home, with friends
- Song ideas, Live It, a prayer, and a printable student handout (preview below)
Every lesson, every age, from $25 a month. · Log in
Free preview · Kindergarten – 2nd grade
Nehemiah was very angry when rich leaders took poor families' fields and money. But he stopped and thought before he spoke. Then he told them to give it all back, and they did. Self-control is a fruit of the Spirit. God's Spirit helps us stop, think and say no to wrong things.
Start here
Build a little wall of blocks, then pull a few out from the middle. Ask, "Is this city safe?" Say, "The Bible says a person without self-control is like a city with broken walls. Today we meet a wall builder."
Bible story 6 min
Nehemiah was helping God's people build a new wall around their city. Everyone was working hard.
But some poor families cried out to him. "We don't have food! We had to give our fields to the rich leaders. And they make us pay back extra money too!"
Nehemiah was very mad. It wasn't fair! But he did not yell. He did not stomp. He stopped and thought first.
The rest of the story, discussion questions, songs, Live It and prayer are for members.
Try an activity
Wall builders 8 min
- Read a hard moment ("Your sister takes your toy," "Screen time is over"). If kids can name a self-control choice, everyone adds a "brick" by stacking their fists. How tall can the wall get?
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3rd – 4th grade
When Nehemiah heard that Jerusalem's leaders were taking advantage of poor families, he was very angry, but he thought it over before he acted. Then he spoke firmly and wisely, and the leaders made it right. Self-control is a fruit of the Spirit. It puts a pause between what we feel and what we do, like a strong wall around a city.
This version includes:
- An opening hook and a 8-minute Bible story written for this age, with a Hidden in Plain Sight moment
- 5 discussion questions
- 2 activities: The whole fruit, Pause card
- 6 “Dasch Digs Up” facts
- Real-life connections: at home, online and on screens, at school
- Song ideas, Live It, a prayer, and a printable student handout (preview below)
Every lesson, every age, from $25 a month. · Log in
5th – 6th grade
Nehemiah, the wall-builder, was furious at injustice, but "after serious thought" he spoke with firm, wise words, and for twelve years he refused a governor's privileges so the poor wouldn't suffer. Self-control is a fruit of the Spirit. It is grace-powered mastery of our desires and anger, which turns a heart with broken walls into a strong city.
This version includes:
- An opening hook and a 10-minute Bible story written for this age, with a Hidden in Plain Sight moment
- 5 discussion questions
- 2 activities: Nine-part fruit, Build a wall
- 6 “Dasch Digs Up” facts
- Real-life connections: online and on screens, at school, at home
- Song ideas, Live It, a prayer, and a printable student handout (preview below)
Every lesson, every age, from $25 a month. · Log in
More lessons from this story
Same Bible story, a different principle.
More lessons on Self-control
The same principle in other Bible stories.
Big Feelings: Taking Them to GodBig Feelings: AngerGenesis 4:1-16; Ephesians 4:26-27; James 1:19-20; Hebrews 12:24Cain and Abel were brothers. When God was pleased with Abel's offering but not Cain's, Cain became very angry. Before Cain did anything, God came to him and asked, "Why are you angry?" God warned him that sin was waiting at the door like a wild animal, but Cain could rule over it. Cain didn't listen, and his anger led him to hurt his brother. Anger is a big feeling we can take to God. We can be angry without sinning when we stop at the door and let God help us.Old TestamentSelf-control
Jesus the KingJesus Is TemptedMatthew 4:1-11; Deuteronomy 8:2-3After forty days without food in the wilderness, Jesus was tempted by the devil, and He said no every time by trusting God's Word.New TestamentSelf-control
David Spares Saul1 Samuel 24:1-22King Saul hunted David, but one day Saul walked right into the cave where David was hiding. David's men said, "This is your chance!" David could have hurt Saul, but he cut off only a corner of Saul's robe, and even that bothered him. David trusted God to make things right, so he chose self-control.Old TestamentSelf-control